Missing someone part II

A few months ago I wrote a post about missing someone and I felt the need to add on to that post since there’s much more to it. I never thought it was possible to miss someone this much especially when you used to tell them everything the good,the bad and the in between. Now it’s harder to do that since communication has taken a severe hit and not much I can do about it. I have felt over the last few weeks and months I’ve been complicating their life and I don’t want that for them so I decided to give them the space they need as much as it hurts to do so I have to do it for them. Does it hurt to do this? Fuck yes it does more than words but I have to do what’s right. Every single day I think about them and wonder what they’re up to and how their day is going and they’re the first thought in the morning and last at night. Hopefully they can see this since they mean the world to me and our talks. My feelings will never change no matter what happens since she’s the best thing that has ever happened to me and she was my miracle. I’m not giving up or losing hope just taking a step back…..

Advertisements

Never apologize for saying how you feel 

When I opened up and expressed the deepest wave of feelings that were flowing through my heart they weren’t greeted too well and in way damaged the unique friendship that I had. I was getting blamed for the damage which wasn’t fair since that wasn’t the actual reason why. Everytime I bring it up still getting blamed for it and sure at first I apologized for saying it but over time I realized I have not a damn thing to be sorry about since those were the words that my heart was singing and believe me it was an amazingly special tune. If anything I learned is I’m never apologizing for saying what I felt anymore but it made me embrace those feelings even more now. All o want to do is express them even more and stand in public and scream them as loud as I can. These feelings will never go away no matter what that much I know. So my advice is never feel the need to apologize for saying what’s in your heart. I refuse to let someone try to change my feelings to suit their life. It may not be the right time for them but fuck it and let them out!

The night

Night time tends to be when your mind goes into overdrive and prevents you from the one time to relax and rest up. All of your worries,fears and most deepest thoughts you’ve had kick up a notch And amplified to an all new level which leads to overthinking big time. This prevents you from getting the rest you need to recharge the body,mind and soul and I’m my case just laying in bed tossing and turning while staring at the ceiling. In most cases there’s nothing you can really do about it which really sucks and just have to let it run its course. I’ve had far too many of these nights lately over the last few months so I know from experience it’s fair at all since it’s the one time where you can actually rest but your mind is depriving your body and soul that actual rest. 

Let go and have faith

I felt that I needed to do a post on a certain quote that I’ve kept seeing all last week and it really spoke to me and was the perfect fit for what’s going on in my life. The quote is “You can’t control everything. Sometimes you just need to relax and have faith that things will work out. Let go a little and just let life happen.”. Ever since I was a teen I had to grow up rather quickly and take charge of many things that were going on in my life and as the years went on that was what my mentality was for myself to take control of every situation I faced which most of the time it worked. But recently there’s certain ciricmstances where that mentality just won’t work no matter how hard I try to force it. Letting go is not easy for me at all since I’m so used to being in control which has done more harm than good lately. Seeing that quote though recently when I needed to see it and embrace it the most was literally a smack in the face for me to listen to what it was trying to tell me. At this point in my life I need to just let go and have faith that what I want most will work out and just relax. Does it drive me nuts trying to do this? Hell yes! But that’s the best thing for me to do keep on believing things will work out especially this one thing I’d trade everything for. As I say never lose hope!

P28 Trial Pack Review 

Thank you to P28 foods for sending me a trial pack of their products to try and write a review on them. I was excited to try their high protein line of nut butters and breads.  

 

P28 High Protein Bagel

The bagels were the items I was most excited to try out since I’ve heard good things about them and I wasn’t disappointed one bit! When you first bite into one you instantly taste the quality grains they use and a slight sweetness which made it even better. I like my bagels a little chewy and these were the perfect texture since they had a crispness and a good chew to them…just perfect. One of the best bagels I’ve tried hands down.

P28 High Protein Flat

First off I want to say I’ve tried so many different flat breads and have had the worst to the best ones IMO and this particular one jumped up very high on my list upon the first try. I noticed all of the P28 breads have a chew to them and I love that about them and with this flat being soft and chewy it was so good! Also there was that slight brown sugar sweetness that puts it over the top. I spread a bit of of their nut butter on it and man was it delicious! I want to use these to make quesadillas (I’m slobbering right now just thinking about it lol).

P28 High Protein Bread

There’s too many cheap whole wheat breads out on the market that are filled with so much crap ingredients that give other high quality breads a bad wrap but not this bread. I always say you can tell a lot about a product by the first bite you take and upon the first bite of this bread it’s nothing but high quality grains and ingredients. No chemically taste like a lot of other whole wheat breads out there. Once again that signature chew factor in all of P28 breads makes it very enjoyable and that slight brown sugar taste makes it great on it’s own plain. You can certainly taste all of the grains since they use high qualityingredients. Can’t wait to make many dishes with this bread in the future.

Now let’s move into the nut butters shall we? I think so!

Signature Blend

With all of the sample nut butters they were kinda hard and not really spreadable but that just made it easier to take a spoon to them haha.  I really liked how this was a blend of almonds and dry roasted peanuts which gave it a unique texture and flavor. This certain blend has cranberries in it and eventhough I don’t like cranberries all of the flavors including the cinnamon blended together made it quite delicious. None of the flavors overpower each other since they’re all blended quite well esepcially the touch of cinnamon. This was by far my favorite out of the nut butters.
White Chocolate

When you first open this one you get a sweet chocolate aroma which I really liked. I’ve tried many chocolate pb’s but not a white chocolate one so I had a totally different mindset going into this one. I will say it doesn’t have that overpowering chocolate flavor like a lot of there do and I’d say using a white chocolate makes a big difference since it’s a more mellow flavor and not as sweet which I appreciated. Overall it was very good and my second favorite flavor.
Peanut Butter

Ah yes here’s the ole stand by classic PB spread. What can I say except sometimes the simplest things in life are the best at times. This has the classic PB flavor but the taste is much natural than the regular PB you find in a grocery store. You can taste the roasted peanuts and not a chemically taste. I’ve heard people say these are too grainy but Didn’t get that at all. If you just want a classic PB spread with added protein go with this one.
Almond Butter

This one was the hardest one out of the bunch which made it a little hard to chew but that doesn’t mean it’s not a good quality spread. I’ve always preferred PB spreads to almond butters but I really enjoyed this certain one. Almond butter has an almost completely different taste and texture than PB and this one was pretty enjoyable. The natural almond taste standouts with only a slight sweetness which I felt could of used a little more since almonds are more bitter IMO. If you’re a almond butter lover who wants a classic blend this is for you.
Banana Raisin

As you may know of you read my precious reviews I’m not a big banana fan (yes I know I’m difficult and picky) but this was was pretty damn good. The best part was it didn’t have that sickening banana taffy flavor that a lot of banana “flavored” products have which I appreciated. The raisins I believe balance out the banana and the blend very well so you get an even amount of each flavor. Plus the raisins give it a little chew which you know I enjoy. If you’re an Elvis sandwich lover this is a must for you since it would make one hell of an Elvis.

Overall these are all high quality natural products that are very good but some I enjoyed more than others. I highly suggest you go pick up some P28 products since you won’t be disappointed.


Hank’s Protein Plus Nut Butters Review

First off I want to give HUGE thank you to Hank of Hank’s Protein Plus Nut Butters for being so generous and sending me a tub of every nut butter flavor to do a review  on them. I have tried so many different protein nut butters which have been very grainy and brittle which was a very awkward texture but not this brand. The things I liked most about these certain ones were that they had a very smooth texture and not overly sweet just the right amount.  You can tell they take the time to make sure each batch is to the highest quality since the aroma once you open them smells refreshing and you just want to devour the entire tub(I’ve been tempted every time lol). I really liked how there was barely any oil separation which is impressive .Also these are all sugar free! I will be doing a seperate detailed review for each flavor to give a glimpse how unique each flavor is. I will be starting off with my hands down favorite flavor which is Caramel Pretzel.  

 Caramel Pretzel

As soon as you open this tub you get a strong caramel and almost toffee aroma which smells like heaven! If that doesn’t make you want to dive in face first then you’re crazy. This is the first nut butter that I’ve seen actually uses ground up pretzels which gives it that extra crunchy texture and it’s a perfect combo. First taste test it tasted like melted caramel on a baked pretzel(I know amazing!). The peanut butter,caramel and pretzel combo is just perfect and the crunch factor puts this flavor over the top. If you want to try Hank’s nut butters this should be your first flavor to purchase since you will be hooked from your first spoonful.  

 
Coconut

I just want to say that I’m not a big coconut fan and I was hesitant to try this flavor but I was pleasantly surprised. Upon opening you see the big flakes of raw coconut which shows each batch is high quality and uses fresh ingredients. You almost get a piña colada aroma which is pretty good. When I took my first spoonful being still hesitant it was delicious. You don’t get that potent over powering artificial coconut flavor which was a good sign. The raw coconut flakes gives this a good texture with the chewy and smooth factor. If you’re a coconut lover this is the one for you.  

 Banana 

Banana and peanut butter goes hand in hand and to transform the classic PB and banner sandwich in a nut butter is ideal which Hank nailed it. Upon opening you get that signature banana aroma and it smells almost like banana taffy. It had a refreshing light banana flavor which I appreciated since a lot of other artificial banana Flavors are just to much. Very smooth texture. Even non banana fans will love this one.  

 
Chocolate chip

How can you go wrong with chocolate chip?! When you first open it there’s actual real chocolate chips in there and mine slightly melted so I was pretty excited and decided to mix them in. Since these are all sugar free they’re not overly sweet and with the chocolate chips mixed in it tasted like a peanut butter cup. It has a very smooth and light texture with full chocolate chip taste.  

 
Plain

Let me start by saying even thought this is a traditional peanut butter flavor it’s not just an ordinary PB. This was my second favorite flavor since it took traditional PB to an all new level. You can really taste the roasted peanuts and the little hint of sweetness complimented it very well. It’s simple but it’s not simple if that makes sense. It makes a mean PB&J as well. Use this one in all of your recipes since it will elevate them to a new level it’s that good!  

 
Honey Maple

For this one the honey flavor and aroma is the more predominant out of the two flavors which led me to want more of a maple flavor. Don’t get me wrong the flavor is very good but the extra maple flavor would of pushed it to the next level. The aroma is of fresh honey and is very pleasant. The flavor is great but not one of my favorites.  

 
Snickerdoodle

I had high hopes for this flavor and I was blown away with how good this was which certainly did not disappoint. Upon opening  you get that signature snickerdoodle aroma which smells amazing! Think of fresh cookies…and it tastes even better. The taste is very close to raw snickerdoodle cookie….need I say more? I think not lol. This one on protein pancakes will make you question where it’s been all your life.  

 
Almond Butter

This was my first experience trying any sort of almond butter and this certain one made me love them! It had a totally different flavor and texture than the peanut butters and had a crunch factor from the almonds. I don’t think anything can compare to this almond utter since it’s a unique flavor and very delicious. You can taste the fresh roasted almonds and a little hint of sweetness. This is  perfect to pair with any fruit esepcially a Granny Smith apple.  

 
Overall every flavor was delicious and of course I prefer some over the others but I recommend every single flavor on Hank’s protein plus but butters since they’re of the hugest quality and des heat ingredients which you can easily tell by the first taste. Order yours today and you will be hooked!!

The difference of a year

It’s quite amazing to think how much can change in just one year. Last year at this time my life was completely different in so many aspects but the one most important aspect has changed severely. Yes I’m to blame for a part of it and it was the most important part of my life that hurts so damn bad everyday thinking about it. I try everyday to fix it since it still is the most important thing in my life. I’ve learned though what’s important and what’s not and what certain things I need to focus on. There’s a few big changes that will be taking place where I would of never thought would happen this time last year. I’ve grown even wiser. The first half of this year has been hell in every sense which I know you have to go through hell and back to get the miracle you’ve been wanting/waiting for. So I’m just trying hard to be patient and hope for that miracle will come since this is the most important thing in my life and will continue to be so every since I met them two years ago. 

Never hide your feelings

In life your feelings will guide you to what you want most and will play a important role in your life. Either the feelings sparked instantly or it took a little time for them to brew up to come to the surface. If they came on instantly that’s the special moment when everything aligned just perfectly for those feelings to come on about a certain someone(like it did for me).  When your feelings are that strong the one thing you do not want to do is hold them in since the longer you hold them in the more it will tear you up inside. So that’s the time to let them be known to that special someone since you will feel better to her it out in the open. I’ve always believed one never should hold it in even if it’s not the best time to let them out. That’s why I write these posts since these are my thoughts I think and I want it out in the world since I’m confident in myself and my heart is singing a special tune. You should be too since when dealing with feelings of the heart the best thing is to always let it out no matter what.

Missing someone 

This quote puts things into perspective  in a big way….”The hardest thing is not talking to someone you used to talk to everyday.”…When you get so close to someone and form a indescribably unique bond where you share every little detail about your life and talk to them every single day it gets very hard when that suddenly gets cut off.  The best moments of my life have been sharing what’s going on in my life but even more so hearing what’s going on in the other persons life. I could listen to them for hours and hours. That’s when you know you found someone special. It’s hurts bad when you can’t do that anymore or only able to do it with a few words. I know we will find a way to get back to this since we always find a way.

Staying positive 

Over the last week things have been extremely rough and heart wrenching for me. The one thing that hurts the most is not talking to my best friend. Everyday we don’t talk it feels like a piece of me is missing and eventhough all I want to do is reach out I know I can’t right now. I never thought things would of been like this between us but that’s life unexpected things happen and you need to see how you can fix them. I have been trying to stay positive that things will work out and I will continue to try my hardest to fix this situation.