Not a time goes by….

It’s hard to believe it’s been Nine months since my dad has passed away and not a day goes by I don’t think about him and still think he’s here with us only to be guy punched that he isn’t here anymore. Since the holidays are coming up it’s starting to hit me more and more as the time approaches. His last holidays with us he was in the hospitals and couldn’t do our usual traditions like me and him would always Cook thanksgiving,Christmas Eve and Christmas dinner along with shopping with him. I used to take those moments for granted and wish I could do them this year but that’s not possible. It hurts me so much that he had to spend his last holiday season in the hospital fighting rather than with all of us at home. The last two years my family has shrunk by three my dad,pappy and grandma and this year it’s going to be extremely rough not having them here. One thing is I hope he will be proud that from al of that he taught me how every holiday season I will carry on all the traditions and still set a plate at the table him and my grandparents. 

Celsius Energy Drink Review

First off just want to say thank you to Celsius for sending me some of their drinks to review for my blog. I always kept seeing these fat burning energy drinks all over social media and at my local supplement stores and had always been intrigued by them. My first impressions without trying them I was skeptical about this product until I finally gave them a try and finished quite impressed. The fat burning side of these actually work since I noticed a slight case of fat loss while using these. I really enjoyed the mixture of the sparkling variety and the green tea varieties.


Raspberry Acai Green Tea


I was never a huge fan of green tea since most have a bitter taste or no flavor at all so I decided to choose this flavor first to get it out of the way. When I first cracked the can open I got a refreshing scent of raspberry which was a little surprising. Upon my first sip there was a wave of different flavors that rushed through my tastebuds (the raspberry,Acai and the slight hint of green tea). All those combined made the flavor very refreshing and pleasant to drink. I was happy to see the green tea flavor wasn’t the predominant flavor which allowed the others to mingle quite nicely. It gave me a slight boost in energy that lasted an hour or two without a crash afterwards. 7/10

Sparkling Watermelon

This flavor was by far hands down my favorite flavor out of all of them. Just like any typical energy drink you get the carbonated taste and fizz but the watermelon here put this over the top and was one of the best tasting energy drinks I’ve ever tried. Upon cracking it open you get a very refreshing scent of watermelon which actually smells like fresh cut watermelon. When I took my first sip my eyes shot out and I thought to myself “holy shit this stuff is amazing!”. It didn’t have any artificial taste which a lot of the energy drinks do and it was actually pretty light and gave me clean energy for a few hours and seems like the common theme for Celsius drinks are no crash. 10/10

Sparking Grape


Personally any grape flavored product is usually hit or miss for me since most taste horrible with the artificial flavorings or just don’t even taste like grape. Another common theme is when you crack open these they all have a very refreshing aroma which is impressive for a canned product. When I took my first taste it was like a was eating a handful of grapes no joke. The flavor was on point but the only issue was that I got a weird aftertaste which I’m not entirely sure why. Once again though it gave me enough energy and focus to accomplish my tasks without that annoying crashing feeling. 7/10

Sparkling Orange


This flavor was my second highest rated flavor out of all of them since the orange flavor was very good and absolutely no artificial flavor at all. Upon opening the aroma was like cutting open a fresh Florida orange. You get that citrusy scent that is quite refreshing. When I took my first sip it tasted like a carbonated version of those old Hi-C juice boxes we all loved as kids which I really liked. Really not much more to say since the flavor and energy was on point and was just awesome. 9/10

Peach Mango Green Tea

I forgot to take a picture of the can so just pretend it’s right here in front of you. As you know by now I not a huge fan of green tea and I’m always skeptical of trying anything with it in the name. Once again this particular flavor combo surprised me with how delicious it was without any bitterness or that overpowering green tea flavor. The peach mango flavor was unique to say the least but they played off of each other very nicely which made it taste like you were on a small Carribbean island sipping on tropical drinks. The energy wasn’t quite as much as he carbonated versions but that’s okay since this is the perfect drink when you need a refreshing pick me up. Was very surprised at how delicious this flavor was. 9/10

Overall

All of these fat burning energy drinks were very good with some slight markdowns (I have OCD so don’t mind me). These are high quality fat burning Energy drinks that actually do work the way the are marketed and I highly suggest anyone who’s looking for a clean energy drink that helps burns some fat to pick these up since they will become a staple of yours for a long time.

The heart still aches

It’s been a little over two months since my dad passed away and I’d say the pain hurts worst now than it did the first couple weeks. The thing that’s screwing with me is I still think he’s still here when I have a question/need advice or just want to talk. I went to visit him everyday for three months while he was bouncing around to different hospitals and I still think I’m going into visit him and give him the latest sports/pirates news. I haven’t been sleeping too good and have nightmares constantly. My mind just still can’t comprehend how his last month my dad was progressing so good and was getting back to being able to walk again then BOOM 30 minutes that night after I left we got the call his heart stopped and they were moving him to ICU. By the time we got there he never made it there and we stood in the hallway watching all the doctors and nurses performing CPR then after 20 mins hearing the pulse flatline and the doctor walking out while I asked is he gone and he just shook his head. That still haunts me and really screws with me. His last three months it hurts me since he wasn’t himself then the last month he was finally getting back to the dad I knew and loved greatly. I know life isn’t fair but it truly isn’t fair there’s so many pieces of shits out there who get so many chances and disrespect the gift of life then there’s people like my dad who helped anybody he could and did so much for his family get screwed big time. Not a day goes by I don’t think about him and talk to him as if he’s not actually gone but just that I’ll see him later.

Why do I still do it?

I know when most people who get overlooked and/or hurt by the person they love they would just say “fuck it I’m done” but that’s not me. Some may say I’m weak for holding on and for keep trying but that’s not myself being weak since in fact that shows I’m stronger than most because I’m willing to do whatever it takes to show how much I care (probably too much) and to show how much I love them. I don’t send stuff looking for a response I do it to make her know someone cares deeply about them and want it to brighten up the day. I can honestly say nothing can and will change the way I feel about her. I’ve been called crazy for doing all of this but that’s only because most can’t understand love changes you…it changes your body,mind and soul in every way. Hell I still get knots in my stomach every time I talk to her like a teenager. It’s also not a coincidence no matter how far we wander from each other we always seem to find our way back to one another. 

Some don’t understand 

People become blinded by certain things rather it be a career,love or they are forcing themselves not to see what is actually reality. One of the most upsetting things is when someone tries to tell you what to feel and that you don’t feel something deep and only wanting you around when it’s convenient for them like when they’re hurting. Along with is when someone changes when someone else comes along or back and only talks to you when it’s convenient for them. Only keeping them around as a “pit stop” until something better comes along. It’s not fair at all. Hell even if the deep feeling is one sided that one person still feels the deep feelings no matter what. You can’t just act like you don’t feel it just cause it doesn’t fit someone’s dreamland. So don’t say someone doesn’t know what it feels like until to have an In depth discussion about what they feel and see the actually reality and not what you want to see so it fits your story.

Heartache is the key to wisdom

Over the last year my life has been one big roller coaster ride in terms of personal heartache and emotions. I’ve been through the highs and lows more times than one should in such a short amount of time. Between losing my grandmother,almost losing my dad twice,getting news my Papp has a year left of that and personal relationships it takes a toll for sure and makes you question why is all of his happening to me? I’ve learned over time that these obstacles are given to the strongest people to test just how strong they are and to teach us greater life lessons than we could ever imagine. Well once again right on cue two things are occurring and of course I’m questioning as to why once again. I keep reminding myself it’s life and a greater force trying to teach me important life lessons and to help build my already great wisdom. I’m not very good at taking a step back to let things play out how they’re suppose to especially when it comes to friendships/relationships but I got to believe it’s to prepare me for something amazing that’s coming soon.

Don’t close the door to your heart

I wanted to write this short post for someone very special to me who is going through a rough period in her life. We go through life wanting to find that one person we can’t live without…the one where our hearts skip a beat just thinking about them and the one person we couldn’t even imagine loving them more. Sometimes we find those people and sometimes those people come into our lives for a period of time not to stay forever but to teach us a valuable life lesson. That moment they go away its like feeling your heart has been torn out and stomped on which is a normal feeling and just the very first step of the healing process. You may think you’ll never love again or find someone like them again buts that’s wrong since you will since it was alarming experience about love and life in general. Just don’t close the door to your heart jut because of a bad breakup since that will only harm you. When you least expect it someone will love you even more than that person since they will be the one who opens your heart once again and a lot of times is that one person who has been by your side all along. Never close the door to your heart since love is what makes life worth living.

Nut Butter Nation PB Review

I want to say thank to Grant Ellie over at Nut Butter Nation for giving me the opportunity to review two of their spreads. I’ve only been following them for a couple of months but knew I had to give them a try since they use all natural ingredients,very macro friendly  and cause you know I’m a PB addict. The two flavors I’ll be reviewing are “Brown Sugar Cinnamon” and “RainForest Dark Chocolate”.

BROWN SUGAR CINNAMON

Upon opening the jar you get that warm cinnamon aroma which made me think of the holidays. I was a little concerned that the cinnamon would be overpowering since I’ve tried a few other brands which were. When I took my first spoonful I was pleasantly surprised it was an even split of cinnamon and brown sugar flavor. It actually reminded me of the cinnamon sugar toast my dad used to make me when I was younger. I’m stickler for PB’s that have a grainy texture which this was smooth with that little crunch of the brown sugar. You can tell the quality of a product by the list of ingredients which this spread has very few and GMO free. Overall I really enjoyed this flavor and would highly recommend it but be careful it’s quite addicting! SOLID A

 

RAINFOREST DARK CHOCOLATE

I won’t lie I wasn’t so sure I’d care for this flavor since I do not like dark chocolate because of the bitterness it holds but once again I was way wrong. Upon opening you get that signature potent dark chocolate aroma with the roasted peanut aroma following behind it. As always I took my first big spoonful and I was surprised there was no bitterness to the dark chocolate and actually a very mellow cocoa flavor with that hint of roasted PB in the background. Neither of the two spreads had that sickening overly sweet taste at all since they are well balanced. I won’t lie I took another healing spoonful since I very much enjoyed the delicious smooth chocolate flavor which reminded me of a peanut butter cup(I know that will make a lot of you excited). The ingredients are top notch since they use organic unsweetened chocolate, organic cane sugar and organic cocoa butter. For you chocolate lovers you need to get on this quick since you won’t be disappointed. SOLID B

  

These spreads were delicious and a little different than some of the ones I’ve tried before which was overall a great experience.

Getting it off my chest

This year has been such a roller coaster ride for myself personally with so many obstacles that have came my way and it seems to be getting even tougher. The hardest part is seeing two family members health  deteriorating where it’s so hard to see them like that. One of them is my dad. I have put my life on hold to help take care of him and do anything I can do for him since he’s been there and beyond for me these 23 years on this earth. It has taken a toll on everyone in my family in more ways you could imagine. At times sure I snap and get angry  since I get overly frustrated but after I do that I feel so damn guilty since he didn’t ask for this and it’s a thousand times harder on him.  I have broken down so many times since I feel horrible for him since he’s not the same person he was just this time last year and he’s trying his hardest. It just hurts me so much to point I’m tearing up writing this since he really is my best friend and I could lose him at any point. But I will say this I would do it again every single time without any hesitation.

Saying goodbye

I’ll be the first to admit I’m horrible at goodbyes especially when it’s towards someone who meant the world to me and was my bestfriend. The worst part is having to say goodbye when it’s not on your own accord a forced goodbye which makes it ten times harder especially out of the blue. There are things I wish I would of done differently over the last six months but that’s the past and I have to deal with it. I’ve lost too many people this year and honestly I’m sick and tired of losing people who mean the most to me. Losing your best friend is one of the hardest things to deal with…